Polarized - 5/1/03
All of this blatant negativity,
An effect of reverse magnetivity,
I think I need to be polarized once more,
Right now I'm feeling paralyzed,
Perhaps I'm yet a fool,
But I'm a fool in love with you,
Your eyes drag me inside and keep me mesmerized,
I think I need to be polarized.
Simply Eternal: 5/2/03
A quiet walk in the dark forever,
One would think I am alone,
Yet I've got a hand to hold onto,
A body to keep me warm,
A calm, quiet walk with significance,
Yet emotions are transferred,
Words spoken without moving labia,
What supports us is supernatural,
An impending bond that was never truly broken,
This newfound discovery, in no way invented,
Always functioning, never diminishing,
No start or end, simply eternal.
Electronic Subwoofer: 5/2/03
I seem to have this electronic subwoofer in my throat,
When people ask to hear,
My trachea begins to choke,
I pull it out regardless of my body's warning signs,
Irritation and detioriation,
These are just the late fines,
Attempting to impress everybody but myself,
Why can't I be satisfied,
That's why this life is hell.
The Purple Mushroom: 5/2/03
Why, yes I have noticed that mark on your cheek,
I think the shaft has sprung a leak,
Your belly completely filled,
Although the entryway for life is pilled,
Your misshapen foot, impending doom,
Hazy blindness, a purple shroom.
Walking alone again,
The shuffling of feet can be heard,
Above your selfish cries of self-loathing,
Why will no one talk to you?
Perhaps because you waddle,
Incase you forget where to go,
A map on your clipboard.
Mental depiction of a dreamstate,
Awaken now and we must wait,
For that dream to reoccur in life,
Living a third of our life in dreams...
I'm surprised only that you've let this go so far,
The consolation is that you've finally began to open,
Within those smiles lives a matrix of frowns,
I suppose it's time for you to regurgitate the bad,
Perhaps you could find salvation in a friendly group of friends,
As those you have continuously beat you down,
Or maybe you need a clearer path to God,
I wouldn't know,
I do know that no matter where you end up,
I will always love you,
I was simply devastated before.
The Royal Princess' Sarcastic Reply: 5/8/03
Fuck you royally,
I have feelings too,
Just don't shove your mouth with so much shit,
Don't take more than you can chew,
Close those legs bitch,
I don't care to see,
Or actually, spread them wide,
I'll get some bitch to fuck your seed,
Apologies only anger me,
I'm sick of your games,
Once again I've lost a friend,
That I no longer wish to gain...
Skin and Bones: 5/8/03
I don't concieve that you would understand,
Your experience won't match mine hand in hand,
Your soiled hands fermenting masturbation,
Old and crusty I wish the bus wouldn't have stopped at the station,
Like a robot drone that speaks in monotone,
Put some meat to match that skin and bones,
I hope you trip on a patch of marbles,
And you fall down the stairs with fits and garbles.
Tripping Off Stage Left: 5/16/03
This has been a hard set of days,
A doctor's sugarcoated lies all with glaze,
We'll make sure that doctor pays,
Responding to this incident with all my rage,
Our life's a fucking center stage.
Facilitated Pain: 5/16/03
These bruises never seem to fade,
Each and every is the same...
Shade of purple with naught to gain,
I beat myself in a rage,
I cry at night when I touch my knees,
Will the pain go away? Please?
I created this like most of my emotions,
Now I finally see what's all the commotion.
An Interesting Fit of Mixed Anger: 5/19/03
Looking through the eyes of a madman; flinch,
A bleeding foot that deserves to be ,
Precursor known as a flying chair,
The puzzle pieces still confuse him,
A silent room full of dropped jaws and open glares,
The exit seems so far away,
He must get out of this hell that he created,
A floodgate of blood and tears comforted by existing friends,
With superlative information shoved down his throat,
He is last once again,
Seeking a warm embrace from the woman he loves,
Where is the harbor for this misled anger,
Where is the violence leaking from,
He can only hope for a solution,
To this habitual fiend.
The mask is unleashed and the rays of anger begin to emerge,
The mask was not harming anyone, only the backlash of an absense of it,
The mask would simply cover up my anger,
This way the knife will live in a box,
Rather than shoved into the taker-of-the-mask's eye,
Twisting and twisting until the pupil dies,
Fuck you; it's just the principle.
Scabbed knees from a great fall,
A twitching child, yet not Christian,
Who will tend to his wounds,
If you do not care,
Who will care,
If you turn the other cheek,
A wonderful Christian you are.
A Knife for Your Bed: 5/19/03
A soft feather-stuffed pillow with soft sheep-skin,
The knife enters the flesh so smoothly.
A Impossibly Wonderful Visit: 5/19/03
A sorrowful room with white walls and upgradable bed,
Well-deserved long embraces alone again,
The sadness within both of our souls,
Transferred across particles of air the bodies of flesh,
Yet the wounds are deep,
And we may have to peel back each layer,
To expose the wounds within,
Help me dear,
I shall help you find them forever,
Or until we quelch them together.
First Day: 5/23/03
This is the first day of the rest of our lives,
Every other we have lived threes and fives,
I turn to you now and look into your eyes,
It's easy to smile because they are my wife's.
This is the first day we wake up with each other,
Two wide smiles, and faces flushed with color,
It wasn't necessary to fight for the cover,
We have each other now and desire no other.
This is the first day we have truly been content,
All of this waiting with stress left to vent,
We get caught up in each other's scent,
And now our mouths both taste of mint.
This is the first day we undress without worry,
Best of all now we don't need to hurry,
Not a guardian in sight and no one is surly,
Until our bodies together they bury.
This is the first day we shower with ease,
All those other attempts were simply a tease,
Now we know how we can please,
Fucking each other like busy worker bees.
This is the first day we can stay home all day,
We never seem to run out of things to say,
At night in bed we lay,
Followed by the rest of our days.
Even in death we still cling to each other tight,
For our lives we put up a playful fight,
Our souls never emptied of their might,
Although we're blind, we can still feel the light.
cHocolate cAke: 5/27/03
I'm wishing to give you some chocolate cake,
A simple release of pleasure,
I'm wishing you could help me learn to bake,
Since obviously you know better,
I'm wishing I didn't feel complete failure,
I wish this didn't matter,
I'm wishing your face wasn't growing paler,
Trying to find the batter,
Oh I wish I knew where you kept this ingrediant,
Thanks for being so obediant.
For the Sake of Science: 5/29/03
Certainly they were not alive when you began cutting,
Frollicking scent of formaldehyde,
Keeping the skin alive,
While the limbs are spread,
Knife wounds exposed,
Calling them names,
How long will they lie,
Before they finally truly die.
Boundless Fade: 5/29/03
One simple box,
With swirls of gray and brown,
Stains of white,
The lines are too straight,
If only they would bend,
Becoming a circle,
To encompass again,
Will the lines fade,
Becoming a plane,
A seemingly boundless arena.
Why Now: 6/10/03
Why have you just commenced listening to me,
When for so many years you simply learned to ignore,
Why to you is my life now so exciting,
In the past you considered it a bore,
Why do you hear through my walls I set,
Even when I attempt to close my door,
Why not before?
Downhill ramp jolted with furiosity,
Nagging persistently in an out-of-step rhythm,
Building and building and gaining speed,
Dropping off the edge in a raging hormonal digression,
Attempting to kill yet not desiring the flesh,
It is simply my unknown duty.
It's hard to get close to someone pulling away,
Hard to slip into bed at the end of the day,
When you don't know how they respond to what you say,
When they don't seem to budge in any sort of way,
It's hard to be second to an inanimate object,
But let's face it,
Right here on the floor I'm inanimate myself.
Keeping Myself Alive: 6/13/03
You don't even want me here at all do you?
Should I just go running away?
I'm not wanted at all,
I'm not desired,
If I didn't have myself I might be dead.
Old Yeller: 6/15/03
An orange juice characteristic to the fresh start of the day,
That bitter taste crawling up my throat,
How I would love to vomit on you,
To express my disgust,
Quit raising your voice to me,
Perhaps if your aggressive tensions halted,
You could hear me whimpering.
Draining Tread: 6/19/03
Oh how I wait for death,
Every train is off its track,
And coming two hundred kilometers an hour to greet me,
With a smack in the face,
To realize the joys I possess,
Keeping a magnified focus on a microscopic hope,
Even in my sleep I dread the day.
Would You Mind My Heart?: 6/25/03
There was once a duplex containing one heart one mind,
And as luck would have it they decide to intertwine,
The two fall in love with strong differences to tear them apart,
The mind realizes she is not where she wants and splits from the heart,
A long, troubled road awaits them both as they both find replacements,
They are feeling like they are locked in separate basements,
They must get out and find each other again,
And so they do and the heart decides to be more than just friends,
The mind follows and together they reside,
But the heart wants to plan out his life,
The mind sees no harm and agrees to play this game,
Plans are made and the heart is once again tame,
You see, the heart tried to kill himself once before,
But then the mind opened the basement door,
So the plans are set and both are in love,
The mind turns on and thinks from above,
The heart is being crushed again,
When he is a bloody mess the mind can no longer function,
So a story of two lovers becomes a tragedy,
And the song that we sing is a disharmonized melody.
Parallel Motion: 6/30/03
Pinpoint the red sting,
Entryway with ring,
Only time to wait,
Leaves no room to hate,
Pleasure rash that bleeds,
Feel the dark heartbeats,
As they stop in a parallel motion.
Je T'adore: 6/30/03
It's hard to see the sun when you're staring at cracks in the sidewalk,
It's hard to feel the warmth when you're a billion miles away,
It's hard to open yourself to the sun when you've been scarred by its rays,
Those rays of happiness that used to make you smile...
And it's hard to live when your sun has charred black,
It's hard to see when your sun has eclipsed,
The moon is beckoning you closer and closer,
The silver and cold of the dark grey moon...
As you pick yourself off the sidewalk,
Your body is scarred, the burns have left marks,
You turn once again to greet the sun,
Just one more chance to enjoy the fun...
Your sun is smiling once again,
He reaches out and grabs your hand,
He pulls you close and a uniting kiss,
Will bring you back to missed bliss...
So I ask you my dear,
Just what do you fear,
Of demons and dragons and dungeons,
Yet all you fear is losing me again...
Preternatural Decision: 6/30/03
We gathered atop a soiled log crossing the Phirloni river. We took separate paths but ended together. You had fallen from the sky, an angel who hadst lost thine wings. I held you in my arms, weakened. The voice that escaped your chapped lips told me a tale of so much pain and suffering that I wept, my salty tears forming a river for us to swim.
Now there were two rivers. One had been traveled by many, and a beaten path gave way to dark trees with evil grins. The other beheld a brand new path that my tears created. I asked if you would come, but you said you were unsure. My hand shot out to greet yours and I pulled you along.
We walked alongside the riverbed, in the foilage that had quickly grown. It was flushed with green leaves and maroon berries. The bitter juices flowed and trickled down our throats as we broke their skins with our sharp teeth. Our necks quickly swelled up like balloons and we gasped for air, clutching to each other tightly.
However, as soon as the droplets reached our stomachs, the bitterness instantly vanished and was replaced by a sweet-tasting substance that let us know all was right again. Our necks returned to a normal size and we could once more become close enough to intensely share a kiss. We continued to walk, singing happily and smiling, the berries replenished our youth. We were once again innocent and beautiful, and we fell in love all over again. As we gazed into each others' eyes, you told me that you knew you loved me. I instantly lit up a smile and we undressed ourselves, being simply natural.
We finally arose to the realization that we were truly meant to be, as my fit inside, as well as outside, of you was perfect. When our vocal chords echoed, softly uttering the words "I will love you forever", we had reached an agreement that shall never be broken. We kept walking along the swift river that had flown from my tear ducts. An uncharted path, this river sometimes threw troubles our way, and at times, we crossed the river on logs that our anger threw down. We would walk on opposite sides for an era of time, and then we would swim in the river together. We were not completely alone, as there were animal friends that helped us along the way. They had faith in us when even we did not.
The river continued flowing, as rivers do, until it reached a lake. We realized then that we were no longer alive, as we could not feel our bodies. However, our love kept us afloat and binded us together. We spent the rest of our days relaxing in the cool water. Some days our anger would evaporate us into the clouds, yet we always ended up together. Life was just as we had planned. We were together, and no one could take that away from us.