Poems (March thru April 2003)

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Poems (March thru April 2003)

Serenity: 3/1/03

Exhausted by repeated hearings of a greater calling,

Full of life but no living feelings seem to be expressed,

As we lie here for an eternity of serenity,

All worries are absorbed by the flesh that connects us,

While the senses combine us into one lifeform,

We are not invincible yet we feel similar,

Are our feelings lying to us?

Or are they lying with us?

A tranquil setting for an eternal love,

A tranquil setting for an eternal hug,

A tranquil setting for us.

How Long Will I Be Here Anyways...: 3/1/03

The scum of society lingering on a flimsy walkway,

Above civilization,

Metaphors or literal?

Why am I with them,

I suppose my birthgivers simply want me to be here,

Attitude.

Could You Cry Some More Please?: 3/4/03

I just love to watch the tears flow down your cheeks,

I could enjoy viewing this for weeks,

And now I'm here to laugh in your face,

Just like you did for me!

I hope you love the feeling as much as I did,

Retribution,

When you're walking down the steps,

I'll be there to push you,

Maybe you'll land on your head?

That would be great,

Everynight I hope you wake up without eyes,

You've cried them out!

While you're busy pitying yourself,

I'll be out digging your grave,

For you to trip and fall into!

Then I could bury you alive!

And piss on your grave,

What a novel concept!

But no...

I don't hate you!

Perfect Moments: 3/4/03

I think we're both being cured by each other,

When can we throw the capsules away?

We don't need them anymore...

You've got me now,

And I've got you,

It's gone by so fast,

But maybe that's just because I'm beaming,

Will my sunshine reach you too?

It's time to reach up to the sky,

Another morning's stretch 20 years down the road,

You tell me we're going to the mall,

You drop the spoon again and decide to kiss me,

Moments like this seem so perfect.

Black River: 3/4/03

The ink hasn't begun to run dry yet,

Dripping off of my malnourished flesh,

It collects on the tiled bathroom floor,

The chauffeur of this gandala rests.

More Days: 3/5/03

Two more days until a new path opens up,

Two more days until my life begins all over again,

Two more days until my dreams come true,

Two more days until I can feel more secure,

Two more days until the time of my life,

To more days with you.

Incubator: 3/7/03

Shaking hands and tapping foot,

Biting lips and breathing hard,

Urination tract is full,

Heartbeat has taken off and left me behind,

I will have to catch up later,

Will you be holding my heart for me?

Blessed for Infinity: 3/7/03

You're worth more than an infinite amount of poesy rings to me,

But no one can buy an infinite amount of material things,

However, you can share your infinite love with mine,

How can I say this in words to you,

When this is a feeling to me,

Pure infinity filled with pure love,

And I'd give up an infinite amount of poesy rings for you,

It seems time to count our blessings,

But I can't count to infinity alone!

A Ride to Remember: 3/8/03

There's a hand in the sky and it seems to be down,

It's wrist seems broken and it's feet are nowhere to be found,

There's a turn lane ahead and I think the light's red,

Why can't I be there already lying in bed?

You were so late cause there were handicaps,

But I didn't mind cause I'm a good 'ole chap,

Here he is waiting in his black-clad attire,

Perhaps he is looking for a job to get hired?

Heat on my back and a shirt in my bag,

I cannot feel guilty for my time lag,

The things I will do for my significant other,

When will we choose to be father and mother?

Extracting Sweet Nectar: 3/11/03

Please allow me to see your battle scars deep inside the wounded flesh,

And reach inside, vaguely advancing upon a slow stance that seems unmoving,

Pulling out a sense of joyful beauty deep within.

Separation)(No: 3/11/03

Even the creatures in the clouds above,

Could never separate me from my love,

Even the devils within trees' leaves,

Could never separate her from me,

Even if God himself inserted,

So close we have become inverted,

She has transformed into me as I have her,

We walk away as one following the trace of laughter.

Peaceful Rest: 3/11/03

You'll leave my body exhausted,

Peaceful rest in shambles,

You'll have to piece me back together,

Will I ever completely satisfy you,

Will I fall asleep too soon?

Santa Fe: 3/12/03

She left me today far away in Santa Fe,

We can't wait to play someday,

Together in Santa Fe.

Baron's Ghost: 3/21/03

Baron's ghost was a barren ghost,

Yes indeed was he,

Living dreams for a lost hope,

What a triumphant steed.

I don't know...: 3/24/03

The thoughts are forming,

But the words are not,

A blessing of silence hidden by faceless characteristics,

The response is a sting or a sharp blow,

The question's answer?

I don't know...

It is better to say what is on my mind,

Than to keep it locked into my soul,

I do not state this as a requirement,

Only a suggestion to share my soul,

As we are soulmates that never grow old,

I just don't know...

I am so afraid I shall say something wrong,

He will then turn away from me and never turn back,

But he says that he'll never turn,

And he won't if I won't,

If I listen to my heart,

I think when I choose to do so,

I will know...

But will I choose to show it,

Or leave him in the dark,

I will have to demonstrate to him that I now know.

No Go to Slow Glow: 3/25/03

How many days, how many cries

How many times, how many lies

How many fucking times will I be beaten

Before I realize my path may not be seeded

Before I know where I belong

Before I try to sing this song

The song of my life, beat to a different drum

My voice cracks hopelessly and you start to hum

If only trying to get me back on track

My mind has become only all too slack

I fucking hate those liars in the bush

Feel my shove now, response to a push

But don't fall down and become vulnerable

I've waited for my tread to crumble

Fuck them all to hell and back

I'll find my own way, my own track

Fuck you too

0469PR-RD9640: 3/26/03

We truly seem inseparable yet also intangible,

But inside of us it seems completely tangible and clear,

And sadly I must say we can be separated,

If only by public restrooms and revolving doors.

Once Again: 3/28/03

Transferrance of a schedule for the better in the future,

Coming together under one roof to make a life together,

Make new life together,

Combination multiple liquid stages for reform,

Culminative accumulation coming quicker to the core,

Simultaneous joy,

Pulsating in orgasmic relief,

Filled with potential seed connections,

Pills have not made their way down,

Purposeful expression of love,

Torn apart and melded together,

Once again.

Forever Yours: 4/7/03

Have you noticed that even through all of the sicknesses,

You're still alive, stronger than ever,

Oh so fit to live another day,

Keep that chin up so I can,

ALWAYS,

See those pretty eyes and have an,

EASY ENTRANCE,

To those soft, moist lips,

And that way I can,

CARESS,

That smooth, infused hair,

I am forever yours,

I ask only one thing,

Keep your chin up,

And live another day (/life/\) with me.

Fly: 4/7/03

Never forgetting those moments of which I am,

Stuck between a collection of air particles,

Just waiting for gravity to come back,

From her daily lunch break,

And when she does,

I see the horizon flicker and I blink my eyes,

Bracing myself for the impact,

Shapeless, formless, and boundless,

I could,

Fly.

MeNtAL PUnchInG BAg: 4/7/03

One of the connecting wires is fragile,

It taunts me once,

I bat it down,

When I turn my head it taunts again,

I swat at it in a raging fury,

Unleashing minimal doses of my built-up hatred,

Stemmed from a broken home and failed experiences,

When the rhythm inside of my being,

When it returns again,

I visualize the train tracks again,

I am crying,

"They're bleeding! Why are they bleeding?"

Later a continuous line of sickness exists in my throat,

They thought I would die,

And hoisted above the white freezer,

Red pox from head to toe,

I thought I would die,

A whole week to deal with this again,

But I made it alive,

And as I was falling,

One of two times,

Once I landed on the counter,

Tumbling in the air with no arms beneath me,

Another I blame myself,

For I did not note the icicles,

Once again I encountered brain damage,

And the rungs of the ladder made contact,

My ankle,

Landing on my neck with my leg wrapped around a rung,

Near the bottom,

The bicycle ride(s),

I tumbled off and severely damaged my knee,

It has never been able to support me again,

A simple tree stump,

A ruined camporee,

All because of a tree stump,

A flip off of a homemade ramp,

Landing on top of the bicycle again,

"But the CD player is okay!"

A five-foot ramp,

Once again,

Only hip damage this time,

I will never make it...

...falling...

Like this,

Breaking down a locked door,

The hinges recognized my strength although I did not,

A ditch, slide, game using hands,

I was so violent,

I choked him,

He was chanting before,

But now his fucking mouth is shut,

"Shut up fucker! Shut up!"

I was never through with you,

You lived,

You LIVED,

And now I am glad,

And I strive for nonviolence,

I began to cry after I let go,

Even three couldn't strip my hands,

From his cracked neck,

I am so sorry,

But I wouldn't take it back for the world,

It helped shape me,

I am happier with this current shape,

Than I EVER was living in an ignorant state,

Not knowing my own strength,

I think I scared the shit out of you,

When I grabbed your neck,

But you made my life a living hell,

I wish I could see you now,

I would spit in your face,

And beat it repeatedly with a hammer,

I would cut you open like a teddy bear,

OH GOD the children I tormented,

And you helped,

And they ask why I wish to forget all of this?

.[Untitled].: 4/27/03

I feel like jumping again,
Near pitch black you're close,
Yet so far away,
And when my skull hits the pavement,
I wonder if you'll shed a tear,
Sometimes I ask myself,
Is this my exit?
Do I get off here?
Turn me on again,
I'm needing you,
Don't let this end.

Goodbye: 4/27/03

I honestly can't deem that I feel like dealing with shit tonight,
I'm in the mood to celebrate, not aggrevate,
Wish you'd care to salivate, I don't want to delegate,
Feeling torn,
Good-bye for the night.

As Well - 4/27/03

A smooth pair staring back at me,
Eyes affixed to what I see,
And if they happened to stare at you,
I think you'd become attached too.

Tightrope - 4/28/03

We're walking a thin line,
Yet still clutching hands,
These rings on our fingers,
Seem to attract distant lands,
A level of comfort must be achieved,
My dissapointment fueled by your choices,
Your hesitation guided by my unnecessary pressure,
Yet we walk away together; ignoring unheard voices.

Aweake - 4/29/03

Maybe I could try if only this wasn't so boring,
I wish I could sleep - you wish to go whoring,
Extracted from the rectum a glass shard,
Injected into lard from a junk yard,
All the letters go away,
I'll ask again when I desire pain.