The Friendly Neighborhood BigDirtyFoot
Poems (January 2003)


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Understandable: 1/1/03
Are we going to end up like them someday or die as us,
The used to work together too but they drifted apart,
Legs crossed for both of us and that's understandable,
It feels so weird though this time,
Is this what it feels like together now,
I guess that's understandable,
Second thoughts but profiting interest for me,
Everything we ever swore would stay together,
Fell apart with us but that's, well, you know.
Eighty-Six: 1/1/03
Where has the enthusiasm floated off to now?
You used to want to talk to me everyday,
Now I'm sick and I'll heal on my own,
But the worst sickness I ever had came from you,
I was so sick when I kissed you for weeks,
Not just the physical effects either,
You screwed with my emotions too hard,
And hell you almost killed me,
And now you want to back away,
Throw me away?
It's not fair I gave you nearly everything,
The only thing you didn't have,
Was the sickness that I inherited from you,
You never loved me back,
You were never as sick as you said,
And now I'm not so sick,
I'm just healing the sad.

The Day My Influence Died: 1/2/03
Well my influence caught influenza the other day,
Got it from Southern Cali now he's fading away,
Moved there from Canada he was caught for possession,
Seems that sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll were his obsession,
Well my influence died from overdose the other day,
Got it from cocaine laced with heroin and it all turned gray,
Ordered from some friend that had some in possession,
Seems that they killed him on purpose what a bastard obsession.
Watching the Blocks Fall: 1/3/03
When there is no clear breaking point,
I look to my holographic screen,
It seems to help me think things through,
Watching the blocks fall into place,
But when I start to concentrate I lose control,
I have to be dazed to truly come to conclusions,
My paranormal self seems to know more than me.
Idea for Ignorance: 1/3/03
You think you know who I am,
But you have no clue,
I guess you have an idea,
But I didn't give it to you,
Don't criticize what you can't understand,
You haven't known me for long,
I guess you have an idea,
But I can't wait till you're gone.
Disarrange Me: 1/3/03
I won't let you stick that chisel up next to my face,
You won't change my inner soul by fucking with my environment,
Rearranged and now you don't like it well that's just too bad,
I'm living in it now and I'm not fragile like you,
I don't complain about poor work ethic or bite more than I can chew,
I don't lie like you,
I'm always honest at the moment and I even believe my lies,
I don't try to control others through my actions,
I don't lie about love or fake it till I make it,
I don't keep my feelings under my ass or eating at my brain,
You won't disarrange me without a fight.
I'm Coming Out Running: 1/3/03
I used to think that the world turned its back on me,
Now I realize I had turned my back on the world,
And it's a scary thing to me so I'm changing everything,
It's a scary concept to the world no doubt too,
They don't know if they can really handle me or not,
So with open doors leading to open arms I run free.
Comatose Epitaph: 1/3/03
It's like I'm already dead and the ones who love me held a funeral,
Black roses around my deathbed lit on four sides with white candles,
Awake to the world but dead to myself with an Ace bandage around my wrist,
I hear the stories told about what I did in my life,
Countless hours spent at their expense keeping me from ending,
A wonderful gift I unwrap with my unconscious mind,
I no longer ask myself what the aftermath of me will be like,
I have seemed to absorb it already,
Already dead deserving a comatose epitaph,
What will my tombstone say when I lie in the ground eaten by worms,
I would rather have it remain blank,
My enemies can't urinate on my dead body then,
A white funeral to keep me from ending.
Amaru: 1/3/03
It's time to educate the new kids on the scene,
They seem innocent like me but different tastes,
There was a real man for them in the past,
A man to steer them onto a more clear path,
Positive rhymes flowing from his lips,
All this new shit can't compare to the original,
He came from an old school hood and actually lived it,
No lies he stayed true to his image,
And a sad night ended all that,
But that's not the important part of the story,
He wouldn't want to be remembered for that night,
I grew up and now I have to take a turn with educating them.

Keyhole enterprises: 1/4/03
pink Hate,
a date Rape,
A new babe,
She was gay,
it was Fate,
No clean slate,
set out bait,
Heavy gait,
Lost no weight,
gained No fame,
she was Lame,
he was Not tame,
let lose from Cage,
locked up for Rage,
she was not his age,
mother was a sage,
told Her of this stage,
burned another Page,
No way to gage,
Hate Pink,
too much to drink,
vomit in the sink,
didn't see His Link,
dropped all His things,
Rushed to the scene,
fucked raw but clean,
Now who's to blame?
He Is The Same,
she feels such pain,
thought It was only a game,
locked up room was Stained,
Key Thrown Away.
lovely So Lovely: 1/4/03
lovely)Wonderful feelings
   She's more than a friend,
        We chose.
Work everything through.
trying Again.
Outcome unknown. focus on

eat you fucker: 1/6/03
Loud Commotion with Super Happy Faces,
turned to Mud,
Slushy surprises such a sick Sad staple,
fuck what happened?
i think it's a reFeree,
crazy i coUld be,
saCred yet sCreaming in my sleep,
a hopping Kangaroo,
for your dEvices,
Rendered useless again.
Hellhole Overpopulated: 1/7/03
We're all going to die soon,
Dried up resources envisioned on the horizon,
Missionary corpses,
Life expectancy may have risen,
But we will still overcrowd and then fall,
I will laugh at you in hell.
Visiting Hours: 1/7/03
There's never enough time,
Regretful decisions,
But some weren't even mine,
And those are the ones I hate,
A box?
Death isn't funny,
But I feel like they're laughing,
The flashlights turn off,
I walk away.

Blank Kontraceptif: 1/8/03
Deafening screams,
Pleasurable pain,
Lovin' the rain,
But there's a consequence?
The doctors told you you're infected,
You reply "But I only gave head!?"
The doctors start laughing,
In an unnerving rhythm,
You pass out and wake up,
In Mexico with a tequila and six kids,
Then you die,
Sooner than normal,
The disease begins scolding you,
It says,
"Should have used a condom."
I know that I am rarely ever serious about things, but this poem deals with a very serious issue, and I want to urge all of my friends to be careful, because I care about you guys.  That's all I wanted to say about it.
Futuristic Impression: 1/9/03
I will work for the media,
Hypocrite on the rise,
You will work for the studio,
All that money can buy,
We will meet again someday,
New beginnings in my eyes,
We will work for the same pay,
And as each of us dies.
Escaping Reality: 1/12/03
I'm escaping reality,
A bullshit mentality,
I'll become a fatality,
Unless I face frugality,
Taste buds salinity,
From now till infinity,
Things are too gimmicky,
It seems too much for me.
Prepare Myself for This: 1/12/03
Sitting in a white room with green chalkboards,
The screeching noises halted but echoes still haunt me,
I can hear the others,
They seem better than me,
But I have an excuse because I didn't prepare myself for this.
I Used to Know You: 1/12/03
We used to all be friends but he faded away,
She went along with him and died at the bay,
I'm here,
But I'm cold and lonely,
You could have tried,
But you were always so phony,
If I knew this is what friends are for,
I never made any,
They were just acqaintances I suppose,
I should have thrown them away before,
Did they change or did I?
I used to know you.
Shove It: 1/15/03
So what I'm crazy you can shove it up your ass,
Paint some glass and cut all classes,
Catch all stares fall down stairs,
Run in pairs fuck teddy bears,
Leave no stains and feel no pain,
Once you've lain you can't complain,
Reconciled when you go all buck wild,
I don't like your mediocrity,
Your well-deserved generosity,
Shove it up your ass.
Battlefield: 1/17/03
Formulating this failed plan in mind,
Selfless submission to country and beliefs,
Death is no consequence,
Too small to forsee as danger,
Opposition operating on cowardice,
I sharpen my sword with malice,
Polished with dry pools of blood,
Skull fragmented bits of cranium,
The white flag torn.
Demon's Arms: 1/17/03
I only believe the good will come true,
But the bad still troubles my mind,
The cobwebs are heavy and wet,
With sweat from my brow,
I have been running in my sleep,
Towards a pair of warm, open arms,
But in the back of my mind a demon awaits,
With a pair of cold, scarred arms lined with prickly flesh,
I cannot touch them,
I am afraid to touch them.
Wink: 1/17/03
I can see the nine millimeter aimed at me,
And I begin to think to myself,
What if by closing my eyes I find a new beginning,
Not the end of the dark tunnel,
When I begin to fall I will look at my murderer,
I will wink at them,
And they will know that I have accepted death,
I will be reborn.

Idle Hands: 1/21/03
They don't listen to my commands anymore,
Shaking with sweat,
They are cracking and blood leaks,
No matter how hard I try,
They stay,
I can't seperate my hands from my wrists.
How Can You Prove?: 1/21/03
You think you hear them coming,
That they're watching you,
Around the dark corner turning,
Greased levers and a sonic boom,
The footsteps are now echoing,
Spiked walls begin closing soon,
How can you prove,
When you close your eyes at night,
How can you prove,
The world stays there shining bright,
Maybe the light in the refrigerator stays,
When the door is sealed shut,
Perhaps the light simply fades away,
Allowing their eyes to cut,
The world didn't turn its back on you,
Look in the mirror; you turned your back to the world,
How can you prove,
The dreams you have are not reality,
How can I prove,
That you can't prove your mentality.
Ready?: 1/26/03
I came to a realization- it had been too long,
Since I told you that I care,
I've got you and you've got me,
You said you don't exactly know how- you're unsure of yourself,
It's definitely something to work on,
I can't promise you anything,
I think you know that too,
But a self-reassurance is probably in order,
I'm willing to wait,
Until the sun crashes into the moon,
They say that age is tasteful,
I suppose we shall see.
Knee-Deep: 1/30/03
The new found child appeared raped and gagged,
Tied to a tree she cried tears of sorrow,
She bled the blood of a thousand men,
Stripped of their chances to renew the resources,
The baccalaureates would bathe in the working man's blood,
And reap the filthy while pitying the filthy rich,
Their spectacles in shambles they sit in their shit,
Knee-deep in their own shit.
Skinned Knees: 1/30/03
Why must I say these things continuously,
While realizing my disatorous faults I fall,
Skin my knees and pick the scabs until my blood turns black,
I won't go back.
Found Slurping: 1/30/03
He was so hungry,
Hungry for fattening globs of nutrition,
They beckon him slowly,
Chanting in verse to gather his senses,
He notices their cries but pays them no attention,
As he washes the blood off his hands,
He is done so he may leave,
But one calls once more,
He turns a corner and opens the door,
The faculty finds him bent over,
Slurping the excess chicken fat,
Out of the depository filled with urine and feces,
He stumbles,
The bone catches in his throat,
He dies a painful death,
Colonel Sanders begins to cry,
A lot of business was lost today.
...we aren't like Them: 1/30/03
How many decades, you ask me,
Until the end of time, I respond,
If we play our cards right,
I heard strip poker is fun,
And I ask you when we will arrive there,
The beautiful landscape and rolling hills,
Two-story house with a white picket fence,
As natural as a dead fish gill,
We won't settle for that life,
Touring the countryside, sipping wine,
We'll get merrily drunk together,
Forever, until the end of time.
Social Darwinism: 1/31/03
The man stands tall with six-inch heels,
To smash in their faces so they know how it feels,
Under the table stacked up with lies,
They never paid attention to his unselfish cries,
The man experienced a failed evolution,
He was broken but rised with a just revolution,
He laces his shoes to give them a bruise,
Or two for the crimes they decided to choose,
His revenge they deserved for it was him they disturbed,
Was it for the crimes that left him so perturbed?